Day #259:Be okay with not knowing

In bed. Staring at the ceiling. Mind racing with a million thoughts.

“Is there enough time?”

“Can I pull this off?”

“Will I be putting too much on my plate?”

“Will my self-care suffer?”

Ever find yourself feeling the overwhelm of those questions?

Yeah, me too. That’s exactly where I found myself last night.

Here I was, lying in bed, feeling the pressure of a looming deadline, grasping for sureness, and questioning my ability to rise to the challenge.

My mind searched desperately for answers, reviewing timelines and to-dos. Analyzing my rhythm of productivity. Recommitting to self-care rituals. And setting boundaries for creation.

In this race for certainty, I heard a soft internal whisper: “Be okay with not knowing.”

My mind began to slow.

“Be okay with not knowing” grew louder.

I paused to reflect.

“Be okay with not knowing.”

Holy shit!

The truth is: As much as I can plan, prepare and try to predict, I don’t know if there’s enough time, if I can pull this off, if I’ll be putting too much on my plate, or if my self-care will suffer.

I don’t know until I find out. 

And, most importantly:

I am willing to experience the answers.

To choose growth over perfection.

Uncertainty over stagnancy.

Breathing over thinking.

And giving this moment my all.

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