Some weeks ago I was in a conversation with a friend and she asked why I was running away from being in a relationship. I told her I am so weird and I am not sure there is anybody who would put up with me. She replied ‘that’s what you tell yourself right?’ That’s the bullshit excuse you give for not doing what you know you want to do. To be honest I knew this all along but putting it that way was a rude shock for me.
This made me think of all the limiting stories I have told myself about why I am the way I am or why I do the things I do. I have heard a lot of people say ‘ I have OCD, that’s why I behave like this’ or ‘ the doctor said I have ADHD that’s why I can’t concentrate’ or my favourite, ‘ I am an introvert that’s why I don’t want to meet people’.
Maybe some of these stories are true and maybe they really limit us and there is nothing we can do about it. However, personally I think more than 50% of the time it’s just a comfortable excuse we use to explain why we choose to be the way we are. We chose those limiting narratives because they somehow make us feel good about ourselves. Either in explaining our lack of resolve to do something we know we need to do but don’t want to do or perhaps to get the pity of people we are talking to.