Now, think about whether or not you know people who are already doing these things well. Chances are, you do. And the road to self-improvement might just start by spending more time with them!
Author of The Personal MBA, Josh Kaufman, says that if you want to develop a particular trait, you should spend time with people who already have it. Why? Over time, we adopt the tastes, worldviews, and interests of those closest to us. Here’s the breakdown:
Groups of people tend to naturally adopt their own set of norms. If someone within the group deviates from that norm, he’ll be subtly pressured to realign his beliefs. Since humans are sensitive to differences, we experience a constant pressure to adjust to group norms. This changes our behavior and values as time goes on.
Take this example: you don’t smoke, but most of your friends do. As you spend more time with them, you begin to realize how mush you are missing out from the cool smoking stories they share between themselves every time you are with them.Soon you start thinking of taking a puff, then another, and then you buy your fast cigarette. Pretty soon, you become a heavy smoker.
What’s the lesson here? Choose your company wisely.
Since you already know you’ll be influenced by those around you, it’s up to you to choose the group that will help change you for the better. For example, if you want to learn how to be more assertive, spend time with your friends who speak up. Keep them as your role models, and their positively extroverted behaviors will seep into your psyche over time.
Next time you’re stressing about changing bad habits or improving your mindset, look at your army of allies. A way to ensure you’ll change is by making sure your social circle is helping you be a better you.