I wrote this post this day last year. Funny how reading it now, I still feel the same way I felt while writing it. Maybe with few changes in my life. I am now more aware than before of my ability to self sabotage. Enjoy reading or re-reading.
Have you ever had a time when something was working so well for you suddenly you start freaking out and you want to check out? I have.
Maybe you have been in a loving relationship it became so good you start freaking out. And suddenly you think of ending it.
Or running a business things start working out fine’ you are making a lot of money. Becoming ‘successful’.Then suddenly you start missing key meetings,stop taking calls and treating your customers well. You go into self sabotage mode.
We self sabotage because we think we deserve better than what we have or we think we don’t deserve what we have.
I think what happens is we have something like an inner thermostat set inside us to a certain temperature and once the temperature in the house goes above a certain threshold the
thermostat kicks in and brings the temperature to the set temperature. We have a certain standard of normalcy we expect from ourselves and once things start happening beyond that. Our mediocrity standard becomes threatened and we try to bring everything to how we think it should be.
We self sabotage because we are scared. We haven’t been here before and don’t know what to expect.so we decide to pull back and cut our losses before things get out of hand and we are put to shame. We end the relationship because we are scared it’s getting too good and we are becoming vulnerable and then we start thinking ‘what if this person leaves me?’
I don’t have a solution to self sabotage. However,I think becoming aware that we self sabotage helps us see the signs once they start showing up. This awareness might help better manage the it when it happens.